On Expressing Gratitude

I am thankful for…

What’s a quick effective way to change your perspective and put a smile on your face?  Give thanks.  Feel gratitude.  Count your blessings. 

You can make a list of things:
I am thankful for my parents.
I am thankful for my friend Judy.
I am thankful for my job.

Or you can choose one thing you are thankful for and delve into it:

  I am thankful for my backyard.  I love to watch the way the sunlight moves and changes throughout the seasons.  Each year I notice more birds and butterflies as I add more plants to attract them.  Today I saw many spiders dodging to and fro in the grass while I weeded near the arbor.  I am thankful for these spiders who eat bothersome insects and who delight and entertain my two cats.  

I could keep going.  Just by writing this I have a smile on my face thinking about my backyard and all the joy to be found there. 

  That is the beauty of gratitude.  Start with one thing and it leads to another.  Tell your friend how lucky you feel to have her in your life and suddenly you both are smiling.  Think of the delicious meal you had with your family and how good it felt to share with them.  Remember the kind gesture that your co-worker made last week when she offered to help you with the project you were struggling with.  Thinking, writing, and verbalizing what you are thankful for are lovely ways to bring more appreciation into your life. 

  The act of expressing gratitude fits in perfectly with journal writing and positive affirmations.  A journal is an appropriate place to document what you feel grateful for and many positive affirmations include awareness of what you DO have.  Some examples are:

~I am thankful for all the love in my life.

~I am thankful for my friendly neighbors.

~I am thankful for my job that inspires me to keep on learning.

  In each of these examples, you may not be completely satisfied in that area of your life, but by saying thanks you can start to acknowledge that there IS good to be found.  You may have one not-so-nice neighbor yet all of the others have been nothing but kind.  In noticing this, the fact that you struggle in your dealings with only one of many, that one becomes less important to you.  In fact, by expressing gratitude you may come to see that the not-so-nice neighbor just needs a little more kindness from you.

What are YOU thankful for?

Creative Visualization and Finding the Love of Your Life

  When we discuss creative visualization in my workshops, we explore various themes and how we could apply creative visualization to that theme.  One of these themes is how to find the love of your life.  It’s a charged subject.  Some of the women have already found their love, a few are desperately looking, and many think one day it will happen for them but do their best not to think too much about it.  Even if we have already found our love, it is possible that one day we will be looking again.  We each take different approaches in our search.  Some try real hard to no good effect.  Others get lucky and it just happens.

  So what WOULD it look like through the lens of applying creative visualization to finding the love of your life? 

Here are a few ideas…

~Create a love altar with images and words that evoke what you want in a partner.

~Think, write, and reflect on the characteristics you want your partner to have.

~Get clear on what you want in a partner and also be aware of your past and patterns you may have followed.  For example, maybe you tend to be attracted to men who are free spirited, but that may also mean they don’t have a job, home, or worse, neither!   By being aware of your tendencies you can look deeper into WHY you tend to be attracted to that kind of person.  Bringing awareness to your tendencies can help you avoid repeating past mistakes and choose healthy, fulfilling relationships. 

~Perhaps you’re shy?  Shyness is a real issue for many women.  Creative visualization may help you in actively imagining yourself interacting confidently with people. 

~Daydreaming is important too.  Allowing yourself to let your thoughts wander can help you relax and get in touch with fantasies and desires.  By knowing what your fantasies and desires are you can work to connect them to your reality.  I love grocery stores and I used to imagine that I would find the love of my life while in one.  Lo and behold, guess where I met my husband?

Here are steps to follow with creative visualization:

1. Be clear on your intention.  Find the love of your life!

2. Acknowledge and bring awareness to any hindrances that may be keeping you from getting what you want.  Attraction to those with a free spirit, shyness, etc.

3. Visualize what you want.  Create an altar.  Daydream.  Actively imagine.

4. Take action!  Tell your friends and family what you want.  Go out and meet people.  Be friendly.  Seek out activities that interest you.  Don’t sit at home all alone every night of the week.
5. Let it go.  Be true to yourself and who you are.  Trust in the practice and know that it’s more about the process than the end result. 

  Creative visualization is a great way to take charge and make things happen in your life.  There are many ways to practice it.  I encourage you to read some of the wonderful books available on the subject, particularly Shakti Gawain’s Creative Visualization. 

  Practice makes perfect?  While I don’t feel I am an expert, I do know that creative visualization becomes easier and more effective the more often I practice it.  You can practice with small daily things.  If you know you have a stressful workday ahead of you, you can imagine the relaxing evening you plan to have at the end of it.  Taking time to see yourself doing something you want will help you do what’s necessary to get there.  With bigger things, like a job, a new home, or the love of your life, more steps and work are needed to help lead you to your dream.

Have you already found the love of your life?  

Did you use creative visualization in your search?  What’s your story?

Celebrating YOU! A Valentine’s Message

Happy Valentine’s Day!

  This is the day when we’re encouraged to express our love and gratitude to our family, friends, and loved ones.   We give cards.  We buy flowers.  We make special dinners.  But what about you?  I write this post to challenge and inspire you to celebrate yourself on this special day.

  YOU need love too.  The surprise is that you can give love to yourself. As women, we’re so good at giving love to others, some might say we’re experts.  Look to yourself for ways to be more loving and kind TO YOURSELF!

On February 14th I challenge you to:

~Be gentle and kind with yourself throughout the day.  Feel tired?  Take a break.  Catch yourself feeling lonely or sad?  Practice some positive affirmations.

~Do something that makes you feel good – take a walk, see some art, write in your journal.

~Take time to thank yourself for everything you do.  You do so much! 

~Get a good night’s sleep.  Eat a healthy meal.  Drink lots of water.

~Notice the beauty around you in those rare, brief moments of silence. 

~Breathe!  Take a few moments to breathe a little more deeply.

~Let go of your expectations of what you think Valentine’s Day should look like.  If you hope for flowers but rarely get them, buy some for yourself.  If you love romantic movies but your family doesn’t, be sure to watch one on your own.  By recognizing what you want and taking steps to get it, you’re much more likely to enjoy your day. 

~Do things that surprise and delight you.  If you find joy in making cards or chocolates for your friends and family, wonderful!  It feels good to give and share.  Just be sure to save a card or a chocolate (or two!) for you.

Here are some positive affirmations to help you celebrate the day:

I am happy, healthy, beautiful, and strong.

I am lucky in love and in life.

I am surrounded by love, kindness, and generosity.

I have everything I need to thrive and enjoy this day.

I feel good about my life -- past, present, and future.

I feel joy and connection with my friends, family, and community.

I am blessed.

Do you have something special you do for yourself on Valentine’s Day?

Do you have some self-love affirmations you’d like to share?

Take care of yourself before taking care of others.

Easier said than done.

  If you’re like most women, taking care of the loved ones in your life comes before taking care of yourself.  Women are taught to play this role from very early on.   We are the caregivers, the worriers, the ones who soothe and calm.

  Because it is so ingrained in me, I have to constantly remind myself to take care of myself first, even in something as simple as caring for my cats.  An example is in the morning, I’m usually thirsty and the cats are hungry.  I used to feed the cats first before drinking a glass of water.  Sounds like an easy task, but they’re outdoor cats and feeding them involves trekking out to the garage, giving them some love, and dealing with any incident that may have arisen in the night (a raccoon or skunk visit, a dead bird or rat -- you get the idea!).  After attending to the cats, I’d often forget how thirsty I was and proceed on to breakfast and the day ahead of me.  I’d get headaches and feel cranky -- I just needed more water.  Knowing this, I now do my best to make sure my needs are met before I head out to the garage.  Though my instinct is to care for the cats first, it can be to my detriment to do so.

  Another example is the transition from work to home at the end of the day.  My husband and I often commute together.  When we arrive home, we are tired from work, hungry, and exhausted.  Since I’m the cook in our family, I tend to jump into the kitchen and start preparing dinner.  While I do this, my husband stretches alone quietly for 20 minutes and then takes a shower.  I used to find myself feeling resentful.  How come he gets to relax and unwind and I don’t?  I’d get angry that he wasn’t helping me and we’d end up arguing at dinner.  No fun.  I’m still working on this one, though it does help that I’m now aware that I ALSO need to transition from work to home.  On the weekends, I prepare larger batches of food so there’s less cooking to be done during the week.  I try to eat a snack in the late afternoon so that I’m not starving (i.e. grumpy) when I get home.  I take a little ME time before heading to the kitchen so that I’m able to be present and “there” with my husband.  I take the time to change clothes and visit the cats and the garden.  The act of being outside and loving the cats helps ground me.  It may  mean we eat dinner later than we’d like, but we both understand our need for a work-to-home transition.

  If you’ve ever been on an airplane, there’s a time in the beginning where the flight attendants tell you what to do in case of an emergency.  They tell you that oxygen masks may drop from overhead if the air quality is affected.  They advise you to put the oxygen mask over your own head BEFORE putting it on the child or person sitting next to you needing assistance.  The idea is this:  You can’t help the person next to you if you can’t breathe!  Take care of yourself first and foremost, so you are able to be there for the loved ones in your life.

In what ways do you take care of yourself first?