Easier said than done.
If you’re like most
women, taking care of the loved ones in your life comes before taking care of
yourself. Women are taught to play this
role from very early on. We are the
caregivers, the worriers, the ones who soothe and calm.
Because it is so ingrained
in me, I have to constantly remind myself to take care of myself first, even in
something as simple as caring for my cats.
An example is in the morning, I’m usually thirsty and the cats are
hungry. I used to feed the cats
first before drinking a glass of water. Sounds like an easy task, but
they’re outdoor cats and feeding them involves trekking out to the garage,
giving them some love, and dealing with any incident that may have arisen in
the night (a raccoon or skunk visit, a dead bird or rat -- you get the
idea!). After attending to the cats, I’d
often forget how thirsty I was and proceed on to breakfast and the day ahead of
me. I’d get headaches and feel cranky -- I just needed more water. Knowing this,
I now do my best to make sure my needs are met before I head out to the
garage. Though my instinct is to care
for the cats first, it can be to my detriment to do so.
Another example is the
transition from work to home at the end of the day. My husband and I often commute together. When we arrive home, we are tired from work,
hungry, and exhausted. Since I’m the
cook in our family, I tend to jump into the kitchen and start preparing
dinner. While I do this, my husband
stretches alone quietly for 20 minutes and then takes a shower. I used to find myself feeling resentful. How come he gets to relax and unwind and I
don’t? I’d get angry that he wasn’t
helping me and we’d end up arguing at dinner.
No fun. I’m still working on this
one, though it does help that I’m now aware that I ALSO need to transition from
work to home. On the weekends, I prepare
larger batches of food so there’s less cooking to be done during the week. I try to eat a snack in the late afternoon so
that I’m not starving (i.e. grumpy) when I get home. I take a little ME time before heading to the
kitchen so that I’m able to be present and “there” with my husband. I take the time to change clothes and visit
the cats and the garden. The act of
being outside and loving the cats helps ground me. It may
mean we eat dinner later than we’d like, but we both understand our need
for a work-to-home transition.
If you’ve ever been
on an airplane, there’s a time in the beginning where the flight attendants
tell you what to do in case of an emergency.
They tell you that oxygen masks may drop from overhead if the air
quality is affected. They advise you to
put the oxygen mask over your own head BEFORE putting it on the child or person
sitting next to you needing assistance.
The idea is this: You can’t help
the person next to you if you can’t breathe!
Take care of yourself first and foremost, so you are able to be there
for the loved ones in your life.
In what ways do you take care of yourself first?
No comments:
Post a Comment